Sex lives sink with economy
COULD THE economic downturn affect your relationship and hurt your sex life?
These are two questions that many couples may be faced with as they grapple with rising prices and possible job losses.
Mary and her Bajan husband, John, are confident their decades-long relationship can survive the strains of the economic downturn.
“What’s happening isn’t his fault, and I see it as my responsibility to be supportive,” said Mary, who lives in Boston.
Support important
John, a legal immigrant for more than 20 years, lost his job at least three months ago and has been unable so far to find work to help put food on the table. He readily acknowledges his wife’s keen financial and psychological support.
“She has been very good about it,” he told the SATURDAY SUN.
“The trouble is going to come if things get so rough that I can’t buy Christmas gifts or we can’t pay the mortgage. That’s when the rubber will hit the road.”
With the prospect of job losses emerging on Barbados’ economic horizon, many couples in Barbados may face a similar situation, and the picture painted by the husband and wife in Massachusetts may have a different ending in the Caribbean country.
The stresses and strains caused by financial woes can tear couples apart, and the first evidence of the difficulties may show up in the bedroom.
“An important part of our relationships is what happens sexually between couples,” said Dr Myrna Lashley, a Barbadian psychologist in Canada.
“Our brain is inextricably linked to our sexual desires, and many people, both men and women, can’t get into the mood when they are very concerned about paying the mortgage, meeting the car payment or buying the food.”
Her expert opinion was supported by the results of a recent survey carried out by the manufacturers of Relora, an anxiety medication.
Researchers surveyed 500 people between the ages of 18 to 55 years in ten major cities across the United States in order to find out, among other things, if worries about money were inhibiting bedroom activities.
The answers they received were summed up in a single word: YES!
Here are some of the findings:
* 62 per cent of the men and women reported they were not having enough sex, and stress was a key culprit.
* Questions about money topped the list for 64 per cent of the participants, concurrent with the poor economy.
* 40 per cent of the participants in the study said they were too stressed over their jobs.
* Two-thirds listed watching television as the most frequent way of getting rid of stress. Some 65.5 per cent also listed listening to music. The sex drive had taken the plunge as the economy went into the tank.
* Almost half of the respondents, 46 per cent, complained they were more stressed out than a year ago.
* Other reasons for stress ranged from health concerns (32 per cent); family problems (32 per cent); and relationship issues (30 per cent).
Interestingly, between July and September, the sales of Viagra jumped by 13 per cent over the same period last year, suggesting that more people felt the need for a boost to jump-start their sexual desires.
A New York City store that sells sex toys told a Manhattan-based tabloid newspaper that sales of such toys for women skyrocketed by almost 90 per cent in recent times.
Troubles
Money and job troubles can raise questions about an unemployed person’s ability to deal with problems, or a wife, for instance, can become doubtful about a husband’s ability to support the family. Just as important, she may wonder if he is trying hard enough to be employed again.
Brain controls mood
Like Lashley in Montreal, Dr Peter Lambrou, a clinical psychologist and chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California, linked the brain with interest in sex.
“Sex is more in the brain than below the belt,” he said. “The greater the stress level the less sex will be in their relationship.
“Whatever couples can do to better manage their stress will help improve both the frequency and satisfaction of their sex lives.”
Wendy Joffe, a psychologist, is advising couples to talk more about their problems when issues of money, jobs and the wear and tear on relationships surface.
“You need to sit together and have a strategy on how to handle this time and feel like you are on the same team,” she said.
